Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Will Rogers on the Peace Conference

Will Rogers was a enormous American presence by the end of World War I, known both for his vaudeville act and the movies which he had just begun making. His monologue, of course, consisted chiefly of commentary on current events (a commentary usually accompanied by lariat tricks, with his faithful pony on hand). By the end of the war, he had also begun some writing that would turn eventually turn into a long-running and popular column and eventually a string of books. From his "what I read in the papers" act, he was obviously reading a good bit about the Peace Conference, since it dominated the New York Times and other papers. In 1919 he published his Paris Peace material in a volume entitled Rogers-isms: The Cowboy Philosopher on The Peace Conference.

The following a piece of the book covering roughly our time period now (ninety years ago)—that is, during President Wilson's visit home in February.

The jokes are fairly chronological... makes sense when you think about it... all he knew was what he read in the papers!

Pres had pretty good luck on that 1st trip... they saw his 14 points and raised him -------- ---- more

Says in there, "There is to be no more wars" and then there was a Paragraph a little further down told you where to get your AMMUNITION in case there was one,

Now he come's back to Washington to explain the LEAGUE OF NATIONS to Congress You know those guys cant read anything and understand it,

But after eating out of 15 million dollar Gold Plates and hobnobbing with Kings and Dukes can you imagine how Congress looked to him when he come back,

Had All the Senators up to dinner at White House Took Ham Lewis three days to dress for it,

Not much news from the Dinner Burleson copped the Phones,
On last day went up to Capitol to sign all the bills Congress had passed Well after he had signed the bill,

Then he went before Congress and balled out the WILFUL 37, he was busier than Mcadoo with a new train,

HE and Taft both spoke on same stage first time Pres and x-pres ever agreed,

I still wanted to go along but he said: "wait Will till some other trip and I will take you,"

You know 13 is his lucky number if they dont sign this upon this trip he knows they will on his 13th trip,

You see Congress got sore cause he did not call them in extra session, You know the next Con, is Republican, Be a good joke on them if he dident call them at all wouldent it,

Back to Paris to meet Col House the only man the Pres ever listened too,

MR DANIELS went over. First time they have ever taken Josephus anywhere, He will be allright in a crowd,

Made Mr Hoover food DICTATOR for all the Allies That means that BELG FRANCE and ENG, are not going to get any more to eat than we do,

Conference at 1st gave America Japan Italy France 5 deligates each and England including her Colonies fourteen, Thats all right to allow England for each one of her Foreign Relations, But they did not allow us a single one for Wisconsin,

How would you like to have been on a committee of Englishman to inform Ireland they dident get any Deligates, OH BOY,

Finally got it down to the big TEN now theres only FOUR, speaking to each other,
America dident know till they got over there that those European Nations have had a disease for years called the Gimmes.

England and Japan had a secret Treaty where England was to get everything south of the equator and Japan everything North, Guess they were going to leave the equator for Ireland,....

The book is available complete and online. Thank you Gutenberg Project!!!:

1 comment:

  1. Very interesting. Looks like Rogers focused on the British Imperial aspect a bit more than I would have thought. All the Irish references. Imagine a standup now doing routines about foreign policy.


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